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myPinkyUpdate: Volume 1, Issue 6

After my mobile home breakdown in Crescent City, CA I took my foot off of the gas pedal quite a bit. For the month I spent extended periods of time in Hollywood, Joshua Tree National Park, Phoenix, and the Superstition Mountains.

Even though I travelled a little less, December was a very emotional month. I got to hear (actually read) my name called to "come on down" at the Price is Right. I volunteered at a dining hall for the homeless and I settled in for some good old fashioned prospecting stories in the Superstition Mountains. This was a good way to settle into a more normal three months shacked up in Portland, OR.

da Pack

I was a little bummed about these Packers. First the game was basically going to be treated like a preseason game, which means......YAWN!! Second, the Packers would face the Cardinals in the first round of the playoffs, and I would be moseying along to Portland. Maybe that wasn't as wise a decision as I once thought it was?

In the end, everything turned out well. I met a man and woman from Idaho. An education on potatoes ensued (among other things though, this guy was quite intellectual).

Also, the two people who pulled in right next to me were there just to tailgate. I liked this. I've employed similar tactics to Milwaukee Brewers games. Anyway, we chatted, and we ended up going to a bar until it closed. No doubt, this was ridiculous, but I figured, why not. Packers won. I'm in Phoenix. I only had a drink or two, and I drove myself out of the city to the first rest-stop I found and called her a night.

Oh yeah, there was a football game as well. It was alright. I was actually more engaged by the pair of elderly couples I had on either side of me. On the one side was an older lady from Manitoba who likes to go to Brewer's games. On the other side was an old man who couldn't get enough of that crazy video camera on a cable following the players around. His wife was from............you guessed it, Wisconsin! Best State Ever! Best football fans too. I really think that there were more Packer fans there than Cardinals.

New Year's Eve in the Superstitions

I had a few days to burn so I decided to go hunting Dutchmen again. My first day, I didn't even go into the mountains. I camped at the Lost Dutchmen, then I spent the following day at the Apache Junction Multi-Generational Facility. It had been a long time since I shot a basketball, and I was curious what my shot looks like with four working fingers. Not good is the correct answer. Lucky for me, the only other occupants of the gym was a group of kids and adults with cognitive disabilities. They thought I was pretty good. I actually spent more time talking with these yahoos then I did playing basketball. One guy was wearing a Bucks shirt, all of them loved sports, and I played catch with a football with Kenny.

Enough fooling around I thought, time to get back in the mountains. I spent the next four days meandering about the canyon lake area. I ended up not straying too far off of the beaten path because my first night I had a coyote ripping in to some unfortunate critter right at my tent's doorstep. I was just glad the critter wasn't a skunk. Do they make desert skunks? I don't know.

After a few days in the back-country, I came back out knowing that the cooler in my car would need ice. Then I came back in, and just chilled at the Tortilla campground as it was an economical $6/night. Here, I learned a lot about prospecting. The older gentleman who was the ground's host is a prospector and he loves to talk about it. I listened. He wanted me to go, but I said I've got other things to do. Those other things were just one thing, which was reading in my tent.

The short days were officially wearing on me and now I started to figure out where I would go next, the only requirements being that I live in a more civilized fashion (maybe even a room of my own), and there are some sports to be played (it has been so long - not sure if the legs work anymore). After very little internet searching I chose............PORTLAND - actually, I'm here now, it's awesome! (At left is where the Dutchman hides)

Santa Brought Me a Dirty Little Filipino for Christmas

My first day at the extended stay hotel I ran into this little Filipino man, who just happened to be from Wisconsin. He had been living there for three months, and it was very evident that he was lonely. We spoke for a while, and he kept on telling me "we should go to dinner sometime." I agreed, and went my own way.

When Christmas rolled around, I figured it'd be nice to have some company and I figured that my Filipino friend was feeling the same way. I stopped by his room, told him dinner at 6pm and our date was set.

He showed up at my door promptly.......I gave him a tour of my room, which was a mess, bikes in one corner, yak in the other, junk everywhere else. Then he gave me a tour of his room. Remove the junk, and it was exactly the same as mine except for one thing. His computer was on, and he had a website open which was showing some very inappropriate things. The first thing I say is "whatcha got going on over here?" Then I realized that might sound to conversational, and I followed it up with "I find that a little bit disturbing." He bumbled around, having to close several windows, and he said "my frenz, they send me these things." "oh too many, I never know what I cwick on."

This was a nice smooth start to my Christmas plan. I really didn't know what to do.......so I turned to my iPhone hoping that there was an app for this. It turns out, there is, and it's called Yelp. I figured that few places would be open, so I'd just pick a closed one, and say, "oh, I really wanted to go here, but it looks like it isn't open." That's exactly what I did, and I returned to my room. I have been extremely happy with my phone, but never have I seen it as a necessity until now. I have had one disastrous relationship with a Filipino in my past and I'm happy that I could avoid a second.

What's a Homeless Man to do for the Holidays?

Volunteer to help the homeless of course. I really treated myself this Christmas. First I checked in to an extended stay hotel. Amazingly, my room was $14/day, less than most of the campgrounds I have stayed at since I've been bumming. This won't change the way I will operate, but it seems a bit backwards.

Either way, I wanted to volunteer a bit of my time, and I figured it would be a good idea to have easy access to a shower while I was doing this. I ended up helping out at the local St. Vincent de Paul's from Sunday to Sunday.

The first night was working at a dining hall for underprivileged families. I figured I just be doing grunt work, but instead I was apparently in the right place at the right time, as I was led into the kids play area with a family that was volunteering their time as well, and we were in charge of face painting. Once word spread of the high-quality, stick Santa Clauses, stick ginger bread men, stick spidermen, as well as reindeer, bunny rabbits, christmas trees, and stars I was making I had a pretty long line waiting for my services. Time sure flew though. The first time I looked behind me, the meal was finished, nearly everything was clean, and I was set to go home with half of my face blue, and a purple shooting star on the other half. I'm not exactly sure how that happened, but it was a lot of fun.

The rest of the week would place me in downtown Phoenix at SVDP's main dining hall. Here they serve nearly 1,000 plates of food per meal, and they do all this almost entirely by the help of volunteers like you and I. The first day I was on dish washing duties. I couldn't help but be reminded of my HS days working at Ponderosa as a dish washer. One day I was cleaning up Dave "the Beast" van Able's mess the next day I was scalded by burning hot water due to a miscommunication between myself and my Russian helper. No problems arose at SVDP, in fact, I learned that there was opportunity for rapid advancement in the volunteering business as the boss called me out of the cleaning area and into the kitchen to take care of the hot food after one of the regulars left.

From that day on, I became one of the regulars and was assigned to the hot food until the weekend came. For the weekend I got to work out on the floor. This allowed me to chit-chat with some of the "clients." Yes, they call the homeless people clients, I'm not sure why, but I suppose it is appropriate. It was startling how many homeless there were. The boss admitted that many of these individuals were new faces from recent foreclosures and they had no where else to turn. Once again, this experience has shown me how sheltered my life has been. I've always been one to believe that if someone falls down there will always be someone there to catch you. For these people, it is not the case.

In the end, what I did was asking very little of me, and I'd like to think that it meant a lot to these unfortunate people. One man told me that no one had ever asked him what his name was. Another man, was a huge football fan. Almost everyone was polite, appreciative, and high-spirited. Meanwhile, I struggled to even grasp what a day in their life would be like. I couldn't.

For some time now, I've been a big believer in helping individuals abroad rather than people here at home. I've always thought (and perhaps still do) that everyone here in the USA has opportunities to make something of themself. The number of opportunities and whether they're given or earned is different for everyone, but everyone has a chance and that many abroad in 3rd world nations have no choice as to what their life can be like. I'm not so sure anymore. Seeing these people living in such squalor has opened my eyes and it's more rewarding to you and I as individuals to experience these things directly, rather than simply writing a check and hoping it goes to the right place.

Just get out and do something. If you don't have enough free time of your own, organize an outing as a work function. Good PR + Good Deed = Win-Win.

Wintering in the Superstition Mountains

Since Flagstaff was a bust, I began looking into alternative Winter destinations. I had a look at Sedona, Prescott, but I ultimately chose Phoenix due to the Superstition Mountains that line its Eastern border. I suppose the 70 degree highs didn't hurt either. I was somewhat startled that there could be over a foot of snow 2 hours away in Flagstaff while I was working up a sweat hiking through the superstitions, but then I thought back to September when I was dying in the oppressive Phoenix heat I would head two hours North to Flagstaff to cool down. It seems reasonable that the opposite is true later in the year.

Anyway, for my first trip into the Superstitions, I just day-hiked, then squatted at the Lost Dutchman. No dutchmen were found during my day-hikes.

Wintering in Arizona

I have already spent a cnosiderable amount of time with my co-retirees in Arizona, but now Winter was bearing down on me and I was yearning for the warmth and sun of this land of retirees. Perhaps this time, I would settle down, watch the birds, play shuffleboard, and bust out my BINGO ball hopper, but things weren't quite like I was expecting.

I took I-40 into Flagstaff and I was greeted by a humungous traffic jam due to snowy/icy conditions. Hunters were trapped in the desert, cars were stuck in the snowbanks, all of Flagstaff was a mess. The first thing I did while in the city was push a helpless girl out of a snowbank. She told me "welcome to Flagstaff" and I told her "I'll see you later, I bet it's nicer in Phoenix." However, a trip to Flagstaff is not complete without sleeping at my favorite Walmart, store number 1175. (pictured is not the actual scene of the incident - had it been, you would have seen me running around with a tiny ice pick, a car trying to make it up a snowy hill, and then me running into traffic to stop two lanes. Another passerby came to help, and we successfully pushed her back into traffic because there was no way she was making it up that hill.

Back to Hollywood for a little Conan O'Brien

I was already out in Joshua Tree National Park wandering about when a friend of mine scored tickets to see Conan O'Brien. It was a no-brainer, I dropped everything (what little there is for me to drop), and turned my jalopy back around towards LA.

Narine and I attended the taping on a rainy LA day, and it was a laugh-filled 40-or-so minutes of fun and frivolity. That OCD guy from Deal or No Deal was the guest, and although I don't like him much his stories created an awareness in me about Jock Itch.......which had recently been a topic of discussion between my friends and I. Some Indian Doctor was the other guest, but the highlights were Conan's bits......they decorated a Christmas tree using a jet engine, and Conan made a pitch for a movie called Trolls or maybe it was the sequel, Trolls II, I don't remember anymore. Either way, it was awesome, and I can't thank Narine enough for having the hook-up for Tonight Show tickets.

myPinkyUp.com's Suggested Stocking Stuffer

If you know me well, you'll know that I don't do Christmas or birthdays anymore. I give experiences, and have started MCPP (Mike's Cumulative Present Program) in which everyone close to me gets one big gift and then I'm done. So far, I've built a horse stable, and taken my parents on a trip. On deck are my eldest nephews and niece. I also don't want to receive anything. After graduating from college I told my parents one pair of moccasins per year would do me just fine.

BUT, just because the only thing I'm giving, is giving up on giving presents, it doesn't mean that I don't want to help you figure out what to give others. Here's my first gift suggestion for the holidays. Let me know what you think. I'm pretty sure I'm on to something with this one.

The Price is Right: my Pinky Up, "Come on Down"

Attending the Price is Right has been a dream of mine for quite some time now. When I learned of Bob Barker's impending retirement Josh, the Duke, and I flew into LA hoping to join Bob for one of his million dollar spectaculars. There was one little problem, we didn't have tickets. I had written them for tickets, but I didn't receive confirmation until after we had returned from our trip.

I knew that we were missing a rather crucial ingredient to attend the taping, so I decided that I would try to compensate for what we lacked by having insanely sweet Price is Right t-shirts. I stayed up all night cutting out felt letters, gluing on pictures of Bob Barker's mug, and making insanely awesome t-shirts, but it didn't work, after waiting in line for hours, we were turned away.....and then the t-shirts back-fired on us as everyone in Hollywood asked us "how's the show? Did you win anything?"

This go around things were much simpler. Tickets are printed directly from the internet, but they aren't guaranteed so you still get the fun of camping out on the CBS sidewalk. Beth and I camped out for 5+ hours, lightly toasting marshmallows for s'mores over a BBQ lighter. We were first in line, which pretty much guaranteed a significant amount of TV time for the two of us. I was working a lady who was sure she would come on down to "hug 002 then Drew" as my priority pass was number 002. Who cares about hugging though, what everyone really wants to know is if either of us got to hug, sidle about 4 steps while unloading a flurry of high-fives on his or her way to contestants row from our seats......

myPinkyUp.com Updates

I've spiffed up the site a little bit. If you have a click around you will now find:

Top 10 (actually 11) Parks in the Parks Pull Down
myParks Wish List in the Parks Pull Down
Top 5 Pinky Up Tour Stops in the Pinky Up Pull Down
Top 5 BDHS Challenges in the BDHS Challenge Pull Down

I think that's all that I've tinkered with in the past few weeks.

Map my Trip (click image to enlarge)

I also thought it would be a good idea to retrace my route, to the mile, on top of a map of the USA. So, here's what I came up with. I'm pretty sure that a professional cartographer couldn't have done a better job.

It's pretty simple. The red lines are miles spent in my mobile home. The green lines are miles spent in an air plane, and the blue line is a couple of miles spent on a ferry. The arrows point in the direction of travel.

Sam's Pinky Up

One of my nephews has been a little miffed ever since he saw Liam and Emmory's feature film debut in my dramatization of the Colombian Mugging. A recent sports incident has made he and I closer than ever, as he has been inflicted with a temporarily, prostrate pinky.

Now, if you get the story from him it's going to take a while. He's working on being a story teller in the mold of The Duke. In short, he was playing basketball and jammed his finger on a pass that arrived earlier than expected. In the mold of the Milwaukee Bucks very own Darvin Ham. The creator of the Ham Slamwhich who graduated Phi Slamma Hamma I herby dub this play, The Sam Jam". If I should ever stumble upon video highlights of the play they would obviously be re-recorded with Ram Jam's Black Betty playing in the background.

Mobile Home Upgrades: Fork, Knife, and Ping Pong Paddle

While in Ventura, CA I pit-stopped at a Goodwill where I picked up a fork, knife, and a ping pong paddle. I'm not exactly sure what the ping pong paddle is for, but I'm sure I'll find a use for it someday.

The fork and knife have been on my wish list ever since I got that blasted bucket of KFC chicken. I ate that chicken like a barbarian. I didn't mind, but I figure there will come a day when I wish to return to society. I hope that I don't lose all manners and etiquette when I re-enter civilization. I thought about this while watching Miss Congeniality when my car was lame.

Finally, I Arrive in Hollywood: Where Dreams Come True

After spending a few nights sleeping in my car at beaches I finally braved the Los Angeles traffic and got myself right in the middle of Hollywood. The last time I was here, Josh, Duke, and I were getting rejected from the Price is Right Million Dollar Spectacular (because we didn't have tickets), we were getting our picture taken with Wonder Woman (picture was taken by Batman), and we were hunting down the Fresh Prince of Bel Air's Home.

This time was fairly similar. I went to the Leno Show, the Craig Ferguson Show, and Beth and I attended the Price is Right. I totally forgot about finding the Fresh Prince's home because I left LA in a state of euphoria after my Price is Right appearance.

I Like this Girl

Putting your pinky up hasn't really caught on like I thought it would, but it's really only a matter of time. The only place where I think it might be popular is China. I have heard that in this communist state if you give someone the pinky it is the equivalent of the middle finger back here. I don't like it - I don't know who came first, me or them, but I don't like these bad connotations. I wish it could be more holsum, like in India where this salute means "I have to go to the bathroom." She is the reason that I couldn't get the domain name "pinkyup.com" but I can get over that, and mypinkyup.com really makes more sense if it's just going to be me doing these things.

Cruising the Pacific Coast Highway

Once Ken's Auto Repair got my mobile home back on the road it was straight down the Pacific Coast Highway for me. I had intended to drive every mile of it from Northern CA to Los Angeles, but it got a little cnofusing, or perhaps, I got a little inattentive, as I found myself on other roads on two separate occasions. The first time, I simply backtracked to get back on the PCH.

The second time I took the direct route, directly over a mountain. This was a more harrowing experience than driving the PCH itself. The road leading back to the PCH was 17% grade at times, and often a single lane of two-way traffic. My poor little car. I'm surprised that she puts up with as much as she does.

My Pinky Update: Turkey Day Edition (Volume 1, Issue 5)

In honor of Thanksgiving I've created a special myPinkyUpdate. This issue includes a hidden (or not-so-hidden) hidden turkey on each page. Find them all win a prize.....I'm very skilled at making print and cut trophies that you can display on your mantle, desk, refrigerator (it's a very versatile piece of hardware).

This issue covers the month of November in which I left my fortress of solitude and piled on the miles driving from Utah, to Louisiana, and then all the way back to the Pacific Coastline. I visited parks a plenty, and I took on more BDHS challenges then I had in quite some time.

myPinkyUp.com's Thanksgiving Message

While visiting Yosemite National Park, I took my foot off of the gas pedal, set up my camera, and recorded a little Thanksgiving Message.

Thanksgiving has additional importance to myPinkyUp.com as it marks the anniversary of my Colombian Mugging and tendon cutting. I like this day for those reasons and the turkey and the mashed potatoes.

It must be noted that I recorded this along side a busy road on a windy day, so I've included cliff's notes subtitles, so that the message gets through amidst all the blowing wind and roaring engines.

EXTRA!! EXTRA!! Mobile Home Breakdown

I knew that it was only a matter of time until my jalopy broke down and it just so happened that she broke down right around the one year anniversary of my finger slicing adventure in Colombia.

This was a much better experience. She couldn't have broken down in a better place. I found Ken's Auto Repair in Crescent City, CA, and in a matter of a day he had her fixed up and I was back on the road again. Ken's definitely gets a rating of 5 pinkies up for their affordable, efficient auto care as well as what seemed to be a pretty thorough inspection of my mobile home.

Searching for Square-D

After a couple of nights at Big Bend, I forged ahead to complete my trans-Texas drive. But, first I decided to take a leaisurely stroll around El Paso to look for the Square-D Switchboard plant that is there. I went straight to the address my phone told me to go, but it turned out to be a school. I thought this might be an interesting front for a switchboard plant. You could easily ship busloads of children into a sweatshop, and their small hands would wire switchboards with ease.

I passed the school, circled around an industrial park, got bored, and headed back to the interstate. Once on it, I didn't stop until I got to a Walmart just outside of Albuqurque. My stop was in Grants, NM, it was really cold that night, I had to pull out my warm sleeping bag. Once I woke up, and looked at my odometer, I realized that I had really made up for not getting my oil change in October. It was time to bring the mobile home in for a lube.

Time to Play with the Fishes

I didn't get enough busy touristy places, so after visiting the Alamo I drove on over to San Antonio's Sea World. I really liked those crazy mammals in Orlando, and I have a year pass from that visit so I decided I'd head on over. At least, that's what I thought. The Sea World employees had other ideas. It turned out that my pass was only good for Orlando's Sea World, so I got to park there for free for a bit, and then I headed out on my way again, sad that I didn't get to see the fishes.

Remembering the Alamo, although I've never been there before

Now, that I drove all the way across from Texas, I decided that the proper thing to do would be to turn right back around and drive back across Texas from East to West. I slept in my car just west of Houston and then I headed to the Alamo the following morning.

I took a quick tour, had a look around, walked the riverwalk, and I wrote in the Alamo's Guest Book "Track's 2006 World Champions of the World" per Joe, another member of the Track's Football Team. Downtown San Antonis was very cool, but there were people all over the place, as I just happened to stroll right into some sort of military parade.

My Home Away From Home: Walmart # 1175, Flagstaff, AZ

To start things off nice and slowly I returned to familiar surroundings in Flagstaff, AZ. I spent the evening at the Flagstaff Library and slept in my car at the Walmart. This marking my 4th night sleeping in this parking lot. I should ask if I can put up a mailbox. That would be kind of nice.

The following day I raced on down to Tucson, AZ. I was planning on Walmarting it, but I splurged and shacked up in a cheap hotel for the night. I have no idea why - I know it was pretty warm, and I didn't feel nearly as comfortable crawling into the back of my car in Tucson as I do in Flagstaff. However, I'd get over these fears quickly.

*Note: The picture at left is actually the Page, AZ Wal-Mart - I took that picture because it was my favorite Wal-Mart parking space for car sleeping.

If I Were My Kayak Paddle Where Would I be?

Upon leaving my Fortress of Solitude, something didn't feel right. I wasn't overcome with emotion from leaving my roommates (humans and pets). I was finally getting over my sickness. I was going back to my more familiar sleeping location (the center of my car). What was so unfamiliar? Then I realised that I had the entire armrest to myself. During a typical road-trip my elbow would battle it out with my kayak paddle for rights to this 4" wide piece of upholstered plastic. Not this time - my paddle was definitely missing.

So, I got to thinking. I remembered the Aussie mentioning that I spent some serious money on my trinkets as he checked out my paddle. Then I took her into Lake Powell. I took her into Lake Powell, and I raced out of Lake Powell as quickly as possible. At that moment I knew exactly where it was, or at least where I had left it, sitting on the beach at the Antelope Point Boat Launch. MAJOR BUMMER......but, I suppose that's what I get for buying such an expensive paddle. Now, not only was it a horible excursion to Lake Powell, but it was an expensive one. For the time being I am with a kayak, but without a paddle. There were bound to be casualties during such an epic road trip. Up to this point my worst loss (aside from functionality of my right pinky finger) was a canon battery.

myPinkyUpdate: Volume 1, Issue 4

A month long sickness really slowed me down in October. I ended up renting a "fortress of solitude" in Hurricane, UT for the month. It did provide solitude, but it also served as a self imposed quarantine as I tried my best to keep my germs to myself assuming that I had H1N1. Who knows what I have/had - my fever registered a balmy 95 degrees so I have no idea what that means. I do know that I felt like garbage for most October.

The illness didn't slow me down entirely.........I hiked the Narrows and Angel's Landing. I hikes in and out of the Grand Canyon from the North Rim. I paddled for a few days in Lake Powell and I carved a pumpkin and won a million dollars. I guess that wasn't the worst month I could have had.

Don't forget to sign up for my updates.......just submit your e-mail address and the word "newsletter" in the form on the right.

I've Finally Caught Bubble-Boy Fever or Gopher In A Loafer (per my dreams)

In the absence of my H1N1 fever came another sort of fever. A fever that I never thought I would suffer from. But, it snuck up on me in my sleep. That's right I caught bubble boy fever in my sleep. But it really wasn't much of a bubble boy - it was a rodent in a shoe, or what I am now calling a "Gopher in a Loafer". I'm not sure why this came over me all of a sudden. I wasn't restlessly, tossing and turning in my sleep wondering if the Bubble Boy was alive while he was just hanging out in the attic. I was sleeping peacefully with pictures of gophers floating in the air.

Maybe this is a good idea to see if 1,000,000's of people around the world will be on the edge of their seat trying to will a poor, helpless gopher back down to the ground. The other abnormality with my dream was that the balloon wasn't a balloon at all. It was an inflatable water toy. I've got to tell you, the more I think about this, the better the idea becomes. Perhaps I'll get a team together to set up some gopher traps?

Yeah, this is definitely a solid idea. Which also makes me happy to know that I'm back baby - I can finally think again. A Gopher in a Loafer has to happen and I think I'm the guy to do it. Of course the gopher will be outfitted with a make-shift parachute to keep PETA off my back.

Spock-o-Lantern

I let myself out of quarantine long enough to carve a pumpkin. I spent a few minutes brain-storming what I could carve that would have pointy ears (which I would make out of myPinkyUp hands). In the end I chose to make Spock. Most likely, because I had just watched the new Star Trek movie, but in the end my Spock-o-Lantern turned out quite nicely.

The problem was that he didn't age so well. I should have went with a pumpkin skin bowl cut rather than the shaved, more permeable look I went with. I ended up spending more and more time with the poor guy due to his rapid aging. I do think he'll be kicking until Halloween and my last day spent at the Fortress of Solitude.

The link takes you to the age progression of poor little Spock-o-Lantern all in pictures. To me he was kind of like Wilson is to Tom Hanks in Castaway.

Reading in Quarantine

The next logical question is: "What does one do while in quarantine?" Well, I watched a few movies, I did a considerable amount of internet surfing, I worked on a few projects, but most of all I read. This reading binge led me to create the myPinkyUp reading list. Even while running free outside of quarantine I always set aside time to read and to write and this is the (almost) complete list of books I've read while running around the continent.

It's really nothing more than a list of books rated from 1 pinky-up (bad) to 5 pinkies-up (great). I don't go into them any further than that, but I've linked to each book's amazon page if you'd like reader reviews of any of these titles. I'm also more than willing to discuss books with you individually as there was a time when I started my own book club amongst friends but it failed miserably.

Illness Forces Drastic Action

Although my feet fully recovered from the Narrows - I didn't fully recover from Lake Powell. In fact I was noticeably worse for wear. I returned to my fortress of solitude with a sore throat, a nagging cough, and a nose that just wouldn't stop running. On top of that, my ability to think was greatly inhibited. After a bit of research on the H1N1 - I really had no idea what I had. It seemed as though a fever was the #1 symptom of the Swine and I was registering a 95 degree temp. I didn't expect to find any info during my routine scouring of Yahoo Sports, but this is where I found a few clues to what ailed me. Well, really one clue - I'm quite sure I have what Brock Lesnar has. Like Brock, it had been years since my last sickness. Like Brock, I had been sick conitnuously for a couple of weeks. Like Brock I'm an abnormally muscular man from the Midwest. Well, at least the first two check out - aside from that, it seems elementary, I have what he has and if I had a big wrestling match or whatever the heck he has going I also would be forced to postpone it, but instead I'm just getting back in my car to hit the road once more. I think I should be able to handle that.

I think I should go give that guy a piece of my mind for spreading his sickness. Well, maybe later. Until then I've imposed upon myself a quarantine. I am locked in the Fortress of Solitude and if I go into the main house I must either wash my hands, bring a bottle of purel with me or my intention must be to take a shower. I don't want to get the little one in the house sick. I've already infected Ralph with my sickness, but he seems to have kicked the sickness already.

Oh well, can't complain about that. I can't expect to feel like a million bucks every day even if I have just recently won the publisher's clearinghouse challenge.

My Feet Recover Nicely from the Narrows

For those of you worried that I would be adding a pair of amputated feet to my debilitated pinky you have nothing to fear. The Narrows was tough on my feet, but the blisters are scabbing quite nicely and proper circulation was achieved just a few short hours after exiting the Virgin River. Once again I am moving quickly up and down the stairs of the Fortress of Solitude and socks are no longer adhering to my feet. It's a glorious day.

I've Already Won $1,000,000

I didn't have to think twice about renting out the fortress of solitude, buying my water trailer, and purchasing a bunch of new Weezer songs because when I returned home right next to my last bill from Holy Family for my pinky was the break I've been waiting for. You guessed it, I won the Publisher's Clearinghouse. I always thought I was a lucky bugger, but now it's certain that I am the luckiest man in the world.

Now I just need to find a bank that's willing to cash this thing for me.

Innovative Water Trailer

In order to enjoy the sunset from Lake Powell and to enjoy the loveliest sandstorm I've ever been in I needed a way to get my gear into the canyon. To do so, I hooked up a trailer to my little kayak. I wasn't sure if my little sportster had enough ooompf to be a tow-vehicle but she handled it quite nicely and this is going to be nice for future paddle trips. There's really nowhere I can't get now......well, for the most part.

My Fortress of Solitude

I have to admit that I was a little more excited about settling down for a month than I thought I would be. I suppose the hike into the Grand Canyon made me a little more excited. My continued sickness didn't hurt either.

My first weekend there the owner threw a little party with a few of her friends. I stayed up well past my bedtime - but why not, I had my own bed to sleep in. Actually I had my own building, my own Fortress of Solitude.

I absolutely love this place. Sure, it took a little work. I moved out a half dozen bags of trash, killed a few dozen spiders, and squashed a handful of cockroaches. When all was said and done the place is quite nice. It's a little two-story guest house with plumbling, electricity, wi-fi, and a fridge. Add in my Foreman grill and I can (and pretty much did) stay in the fortress 24/7.

I came to Hurricane with grand plans but a sickness (maybe H1N1 - but I don't know when I took my temp I was coming in at a frigid 95 degrees) slowed me down. I played a bit of basketball with some 7th graders to prepare for playing at the St. George rec center. After being schooled by the 7th graders I should have realized that it wasn't a very good idea to play with more talented kids, but I'm a foolish sort. I balled with some high schoolers and it was fun, but I was out of place. Later I signed up on the flag football "orphan" list as there wasn't a list for "hobos". Sadly, there weren't enough orphans lying around, so the team didn't materialize. The guy in charge told me I could stick around to see if anyone needed some help, but the intensity of the first game scared me off. I don't tihnk strangers will appreciate my knack for dropped passes as much as my friends back home do.

So, in the end I didn't spend too much time out and about. Mostly, I kept myslef cooped up in my fortress of solitude.

Weezer - Still the best band ever!!

I've been listening to this song on repeat as I type away in my fortress of solitude and I decided I needed to express how awesome Weezer is. I can't believe I forgot - I even went as far as deleting my "weezer mega-mix" from my phone in order to squeeze more audiobooks on that thing. Well, you better believe that they're back baby and they're better than ever. You can also buy a weezer zebra snuggie which looks equally awesome.

My Weezer binge has intensified over the last couple of days. I've downloaded all of Rivers' solo work and I'm in heaven. I was long overdue for getting some "new" music.

myPinkyUpdates - Volume 1, Issue 3 Released

I had a rainy, windy day in Utah so I decided to crank out the third issue. It wasn't a particular funny month - I battled a cold, slept in the Flagstaff Wal-mart's parking lot for three nights (non of them consecutive) - I baked in 100+ degree weather in Phoenix, took in two NFL games, and I visited a whole slew of National Parks.

myPinkyUp featured on MV Cribs (well not really, but maybe some day)

I'm not exactly sure why I did this. I guess I thought it would be kind of funny. The strange thing is that I felt funny filming it. These are the times when I really could use a partner in crime because I wouldn't feel strangely at all if someone else was doing the filming or I was filming someone else. That actually would make me get into it a whole lot more.

This is similar to when I started my Pinky Up Tour in Riverside, Iowa and I was too scared to knock on the door of a Kirk's home because I didn't want to bug them and would have felt strange.

I'll have to face these fears sometime until then enjoy the close look at my crib.

myPinkyUp requests Charlie Bell to do my job

I stumbled upon this Milwaukee Bucks promotion in my routine internet searching and I figured I should enter. Why not? Right?

I submit my job as "Hobo" filled out the required form and submit it. Sadly, I didn't even hear back from the Milwaukee Bucks and later I found out that he would work for the USPS, Crate and Barrel and some other places that had absolutely nothing to do with driving around the country in a little VW. Bummer. Hopefully I'll fair better at the other random promotions and contests I enter in the future.

OchoCinco Jumps in the Stands

Other than Charles Woodson's play there weren't too many highlights for the Packers. For sure, my favorite moment of the game was when Chad Ochocinco jumped in the stands. He says that as he was jogging around the back of the end zone he was asking the fans if he could jump in. Eventually he found a group of Bengals fans and he hopped in.

I really don't know why you don't let this guy jump in with you. He's so awesome! Best football player ever, maybe not in terms of talent (although he's very talented) but in terms of all-around awesomeness.

To top it all off a picture of me was on SI.com as one of their fans of the game. How sweet is that? My grand plan was to draw the cameras in with the hot pink and then to hit them with my campaign poster I was hiding behind it - BOOM!! But, I was too slow on the draw, actually I didn't even pull it out. I'm currently working on a new hot pink sign for the Arizona vs. Indianapolis game this week.

Go Pack Go

elI have to say that my expectations for the Packers were quite high. I didn't see any preseason action, but man did I hear and read about it. It sounded like the offense was unstoppable and the defense was fast and unpredictable.

Wither their season opening win against the Bears I figured it was a good time to go home, hang with the family again and take in the Packers vs. Bengals game in person.

Curt, Kari, our loan Bengals fan (Erik), and I joined the Events USA fan tours tailgate and ticket experience. It was good - we ate and drank until we couldn't take it anymore, we saw LeRoy Butler, we yelled at Ed Hochuli, and the game was exciting, but the Pack lost to the lowly Bengals. This does give credence to Erik's prediction of 15-1 Packers and 15-1 Bengals meeting in the Super Bowl.

I may not be Good at WILDLIFE pictures but I take a good Squirrel Picture

I've been in pursuit of some good wildlife pictures and I haven't really gotten any. I am not exactly sure what my problem is. I wake up plenty early, I stay up until past sunset, I sit still every once in a while. My new theory is that I spend a little too much time taking pictures of squirrels, chipmunks, and other small rodents. I like them though, except the one guy who was bombing pine cones down on a trail.

So, instead of an awesome, exotic wildlife photo gallery I have a gallery of squirrels. Go ahead and click the link above to check it out along with all my other photo albums.

Second myPinkyUPDATE Newsletter is issued

I met my middle of the month deadline for issuing another myPinkyUpdate but I fell behind on updating this website. I'm not exactly sure what to focus on. I guess there really shouldn't be a focus, I just need to find a nice balance. It would be nice if I could be trained well enough to update both as I go.

Well, this is the myPinkyUpDate for the month of August. There's some good stuff in here. We've got all sorts of action in the Rockies as well as mhy Crater Kick. Enjoy.

Late Breaking Mobile Home Upgrade

I added the board game, Settlers of Catan to my mobile home. Not sure when I'm going to find the 2-3 additional players required to play the game, but I will remain optimistic. If all else fails I can always get another BINGO ball hopper to go with my cribbage board and head right back to Yellowstone with the old-timers. They'd be gamers.

Brief Intermission for a Fantasy Football Draft

I parked myself in Klamath Falls for TWO nights of sleeping in a bed so I could do a long distance fantasy football draft. The bed was great, the wi-fi, not so much. I ended up doing as much of the draft from my phone as I did from my computer..............and, my team sucks.

There's nothing pinky up about this. Back to the tour.

Major Mobile Home Upgrades

I'm constantly trying to make my car feel more like my home (since it really is my home or at least part-time home shared with my tent). Anyway, In August I made a few major additions:

1: A George Foreman Grill

2: Jumper Cables

3: A Voltage Inverter

What I really was imagining was that I would leave Foreman plugged in and I would need a jump, but just days after the big upgrade a stranded Canadian flagged me down as I was pulling into a campground. Turns out they needed a jump. I was up to the challenge and the upgrades were all made worth while as I have yet to toast a sandwich in my car because I don't think that she has enough juice to power the Foreman.

Seattle's Public Market is Full of Peculiarities

Seattle's Pike Place Market is great. Initially I wasn't all that interested in seeing a bunch of fish and fruit and whatever the heck they sell at ground level. What I didn't know is that there's a lower level to this Public Market that is filled with coin operated fortune tellers and large shoe displays.

It's awesome. This Elvis told me that things would be splashy or something about a rub a dub dub (not sure) - I think maybe he mistook me for the Boy, he's the one who enjoys a good bath.

Anyway, it's definitely worth a visit. If you like fresh food this place is for you. If you like stores selling eccentricities and random coin operated machines this place is also for you.

Finally, it's situated right on Puget Sound. So, if you get bored with the shops or the food you can always have a walk out on the docks and stare at the cruise ships or try to sneak onto one like I plan on trying next May.

Yankees vs. Mariners with CC on the Mound

While in Seattle I decided to take in a baseball game. Back home in Wisconsin one of my favorite past-times is tail-gating at Miller Park. The scene at Miller Park is so great, thousands of people arrive 3 hours prior to the first pitch and the majority of these people don't even see that pitch as they're still outside eating brats and drinking beer.

I like the Brewers (and CC Sabathia for what he did for the crew last year) so much that I thought I would check out a Mariners game. It's a strange atmosphere. Many of the fans are drinking coffee. I didn't see any tailgaters, but that's not to say it doesn't happen as it was raining for an hour or two leading up to the game. But still, it's fairly quiet in the stadium. The Yankees received cheers just as loud as the Mariners. I was lucky to catch CC, but it just so happened that A-Rod and Junior had the day off on this day. I also watched more baseball than I usually watch at a baseball game. I caught Jeter hitting a homerun and I got to see Ichiro's goofy knee-knocking stance first-hand.

Is Krupski only the SECOND Worst Cribbage Player EVER?

Our friend, Krupski, has taken on several challengers, but for the past ten years or so he has retained the title of "Worst Cribbage Player Ever." It's not a title that is easily held as new players are learning the game every day and it's a favorite past-time of the elderly whose faculties are typically deteriorating. His title was cemented when he was gifted a cribbage board with the title "worst cribbage player ever" inscribed on it.

I always assumed that it was written that Krup would go down in history as "the worst" but then I played a few games with Luke in Seattle. The games weren't even close and they would have been even more lopsided had I not aided in counting his hands from time to time. It might just turn out that two-handed cribbage is not Luke's game - he easily one our three handed match with proof in the pictures with his red peg sitting at the finish line. Worst? Probably not, but definitely not good!

First ever myPinkyUPDATE Newsletter is released

In an effort to keep those interested updated with my whereabouts, wanderings and whathaveyous (but, primarily to keep my Mom from writing to me "I haven't seen any updates lately") I have created a monthly newsletter with the link above leading to the first issue of the first volume which will undoubtedly become a collector's item some day. So, get 'em while the gettings good or just type the word "newsletter" and your e-mail address in the little suggestion/newsletter request box on the ridehand sidebar and press "submit. I plan on sending out a newsletter once a month on or around the 15th of the month. Each newsletter will cover the previous months happenings. I hope you enjoy it.

Dr. Cherney - Have a look at this picture

Really the picture doesn't show too well what I'm talking about. My new working theory on my pinky is that the superficialis tendon is pinched by something (maybe looped when stitching up the surgical incision? I don't know, just thinking). Even looking closely you can't really \notice that at the base of the small finger (the MP) it's like a pitched tent - and it feels like the peak of that tent is caused by a strong fiberous material which I am assuming is a superficialis tendon. The thing is that to my limited experience feeling tendons, it feels like one. When I squeeze that spot at the top of my palm my finger bends at the PIP and when I hold down at the top of my palm I can bend the PIP without assistance to a 45 degree andle relative to the MP. I can also apply a small amount of pressure on my palm while exercising the finger without holding anything or cupping it with another finger. This thing is a mystery to me - but I have a hunch that given a few more months it miget be back to normal. I still have a pretty serious hyper-extension of the finger..........and that would seem to me like a sign that I do not have the superficialis, so I still don't know. BUT, I'd like to hear your opinion on the subject. I bumped into a doctor out here and asked her opinion and she seemed to be a skeptic. I, on the other hand am staying optimistic............besides if my finger gets fixed how much fun is it going to be going to spectacular places and raising my finger?

I Shot the Sheriff but I Did Not Shoot the Duke Balloons

I created a new game this year for our newest member of the Doghouse where he stands with us. As it turned out, the Duke didn't show, and Sheriff did, so we really should have been doing the opposite, but he hadn't arrived at the time of the games so we aimed for the helium filled balloons with a picture of his happy mug on it. This game really wasn't as hot as I anticipated, and spending over $60 on helium probably wasn't worth it, but it was good to try out for a year. We also learned that Erik gets the wobblers and Mutt loves to shoot guns.

News Flash: Duke's Not the Best

The unexpected arrival of Sheriff left the Duke as the only missing member of this year's weekend up North. Which resulted in the "Duke's the Best" trophy being thrown directly into the fire. I am pretty sure that it's consensus that Duke is no longer the best amongst his closest friends. I for one feel strongly that he is the worst. I'm still waiting for the guy to return 3 phone calls left back in early July and another placed in early August.

Big Surprise Here, Pitlick Excells at Pitlickers

Last year I finally went through with my year old concept of a game called "Pit-Lickers." This concept was a simple interweaving of what my friends and I like to do best during our one weekend together up North and the most famous family in Sugarcamp, the Pitlicks. Really, I'm just hoping to be adopted into the family as the regatta and sugarcamp are two of the things I like the most.

Total Regatta Domination this Year

Until this year our teams have never placed higher than second to last in Pitlick's Polish Regatta. Our second last showing was only because our second team took last place. This year we meant business. We stacked our lineups for Polish Waterskiing, Polish Baseball, Polish Wet-Sweatshirt Contest, and Polish Pie-Eating. The only bad thing was that with me just burning gas all around the country we didn't have a man made boat to enter or costumes to wear so we had to enter the sinking dingy division. We kicked some serious dingy though. I suppose it should be mentioned that we were only up against one other team and had we been in the Pride of the Regatta Division we would have simply been in the middle of the pack. Either way, it was a ton of fun once again. Everyone should sign up a team next year for the 10th Anniversary of Pitlick's Polish Regatta.

Innovative Bumpers Used for My Bumper Stickers

My nephew, Liam wasn't really thinking outside of the box when he told me "I'm going to save my money so I can buy a bumper to put this sticker on." Maybe it's because he's not old enough to drink beer yet, but at this year's Pitlick's Polish Regatta my bumper stickers found their way on to bumpers of a different sort. Everyone has a bumper, so why don't you come out and get yourself a sticker? Also, support is starting to come from opposite ends of the United States. Here's a picture of a car in Texas. I thought that my mobile home would be the only wheels decked out with these sweet babies.

While up North we also saw bumpers adorned with another sort of advertisement. It was complete shock and awe when I first saw these bumpers. I didn't know if I should laugh out loud at this spectacle or if I should be upset that my gusto was being stolen by a bunch of high-schoolers. I laughed, laughed some more, took a picture, and now I talk about it to just about everyone I see that knows about our weekend for boys. ABNC, who does that??

Epic Scooter Ride Made in the Name of Debauchery (full page to be added later)

In order to get back to Wisconsin for my 7th Annual Weekend for boys I had to make a ~90 mile journey from Wauwatosa to Manitowoc on my little orange scooter. I've always said "I'm always smiling when I'm on that little guy." I have a hunch you could have found me with a frown or two during this round-trip voyage. It turned out to be well worth it as I learned that Manitowoc's Sputnikfest is coming up, that there's a restaurant called Hobo's, and that I need to come up with a better plan to get to and from home if I ever fly back into Milwaukee for similar escapades. haha - actually that's not true, I loved it and I'll probably do it again. I just get the shivers and goose bumps when I think about it. However, I was extremely happy to get my new set of bike wheels to the airport with me, and thanks again to Karen, Sam, and Maddie for picking me up from the airport and taking me back to the airport. It's much appreciated.

Stinky Man Takes Shower

After a week of exercising in the uncommonly high temperatures of Washington's North Olympic Peninsula I finally cracked and took a shower. I was going to just jump in a lake like I did on other occassions, but this particular morning, I was extraordinarily ripe, and when I drove down to a lake, the temperature was maybe 50 degrees. I ended up pulling into the local KOA, giving a nice lady $3, and voila I was fresh as a daisy again.

I never was good at Shape Puzzles or labyrinths

I never really excelled at matching a triangle with a triangle cut-out in shape puzzles and I still struggle with similar situations today. Here's a perfect example where I stuffed a hamburger into a hot dog bun. This seemed to be a simple effort to not waste bread, but in the end the burger was rather hot dog shaped itself. Mabe I will get the hang of this sort of stuff after all. We can always hope, right?

myPinkyUp Founder Finds Family in Unfamiliar Territory

While in Canada I found one of the last things I expected, family. It turns out that I am the byproduct of an interracial love affair between my Mom from New York, and my Dad from Canada. I always had my suspicions that I was something a little more exotic that what I was told to be - who knew I would learn this from a bum on the streets of Victoria. Don't worry real Mom and Dad (I'll still be coming to you when I'm broke and have nowhere else to go) it's just a joke we played along with for the trip.

Local Band Cheered Off Stage So Tourists Can Sing "Livin' on a Prayer" with Air Guitar

A local cover band at Darcy's Brew Pub in Victoria, BC was loving their fans enthusiasm until they learned this rauccous cheering was used to get them to play through their second intermission. Two friends from scandalous Hoboken, NJ brought their air guitarist from Wisconsin to Darcy's to perform an a capella rendition of Bon Jovi's hit, "Livin' on a Prayer." This performance led to a nearly abandoned Darcy's well before closing. The lead singer of the cover band was asked his opinion while he was taking down his set. He only responded "is this really happening? Thank God I already disconnected the mic. We wouldn't want them to get a hold of that now would we?"

Friendly, Inquisitive Whales found near coast of Vancouver Island

Our guide Mick told us that we were in for quite the adventure but I had no idea that these whales came right out of the water ready for Sea World. Those trainers make it sound like it's such a big deal getting in the water with a killer whale. For some reason I was the only one that captured these sorts of shots, which is astounding considerring the number of photos/second our group took. I guess my keen eye for animal activity really paid off this time.

Dave, King of the one-liner Nukes his own shoes

Dave, the same man who brought you such classic one-liners as "hey ladies, there's a scale over here!" and "Beth meet Grant, Grant meet Beth." attempted to dry his shoes via the unconventional method of micro-waving them. Most microwaves are not equipped with a "shoes" preset, but Dave thought he'd give it a go anyway, and it worked perfectly until he tried them on. See, this trip was quite the educational adventure - I never knew shoes would shrink in the microwave - now I know, and now you do too. Thanks to Dave. Personally, I think he just wanted some new shoes.

A Tough Clam to Crack in Victoria

While in Victoria I encountered a very prudent waitress who proved to be a tough clam to crack. With minimal back-story, an innocent bet as to whether or not Scallops were mollusks led to a note being passed to said clam along with my bill. This note can be described best by only one word, inappropriate.

Canadians: The Peculiar Braggards

Without having been there or reading this article you probably would never have learned that Canada is home to the First Ostentatious Feng Shui Site, the longest bicycle bridge in NA, the most beautiful shortcut, the longest single zip-line, AND cool organ music. Not to be one-upped by Canadians as soon as I crossed the border I set out to find something even more Ostentatious then the Canadian's Feng Shui site and what did I find? Concrete, WA: Home of the $25 Neuter. Fantastic!!

Bungee High!!

All I really need to say is this: BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! BUNGEE!! I'm still on my 30-day bungee high baby. Which has an expiration date of August 21, 2009 (~4:00pm PT).

A Dramatization of how I became so fancy

With the help of a niece and nephew of mine we recreated the scene of the crime. We even added an alternate ending to boot. Sadly, Liam couldn't find his Power Rangers mask and cape, but he did get to kick Emmory's butt to save me from a couple of severred tendons and the loss of all my trinkets.

I've given myself a title: OzWalled Productions

I'm not exactly sure what it means or what I'm going to do with it. For that matter, I can't imagine that it's legit just because I said so......but this is the start of something. What? Who knows, but something, and something good I would imagine.

Pinky Up Tour Finds the Fountain of Youth:

In an unlikely turn of events I found the Fountain of Youth while on my Pinky Up Tour. Apparently, I looked where Ponce de Leon didn't in Lewes Deleware. Although excited about the find I refrained from having a drink as I'm not to keen on living forever. I will continue to search for this fountain and when I find it, I will drink.

Pinky Up Tour Stalks Historic Monument: Foamhenge:

Stonehenge hogs the glory but in my heart there's no greater henge then that made of FOAM!

Pinky Up Tour attempts an improbable heist:

I like Beans. So, when I found myself driving around the Bush's Beans factory just outside of Great Smoky Mountain National Park I quickly put on my camoflauge moccasins and attempted to heist Bush's secret recipe. Security was tight, but after milling around the loading docks a helpful fellow told me to try the front gate. Security was even tighter at the front gate. A little old lady kept me out of the plant and away from the factory, but I didn't come away empty handed. The very same security lady took my picture before I left and right after she foiled my plans.

Pinky Up Tour Learns: Zorbing = Fun!

Oh My God! Whoa - I almost just layed down an acronym. Well, zorbing is time well spent. If you're ever within 1-200 miles of Pigeon Forge take the detour to roll down a hill in a giant zorb filled with water. You won't regret it.

Technically speaking the Pinky Up Tour started with this:

Then it progressed to this:

And it ended up like this:

If you still want more - check out my old BLOGSPOT Archives