myPinkyUpdate: Volume 1, Issue 6
After my mobile home breakdown in Crescent City, CA I took my foot off of the gas pedal quite a bit. For the month I spent extended periods of time in Hollywood, Joshua Tree National Park, Phoenix, and the Superstition Mountains.
Even though I travelled a little less, December was a very emotional month. I got to hear (actually read) my name called to "come on down" at the Price is Right. I volunteered at a dining hall for the homeless and I settled in for some good old fashioned prospecting stories in the Superstition Mountains. This was a good way to settle into a more normal three months shacked up in Portland, OR.
da Pack
I was a little bummed about these Packers. First the game was basically going to be treated like a preseason game, which means......YAWN!! Second, the Packers would face the Cardinals in the first round of the playoffs, and I would be moseying along to Portland. Maybe that wasn't as wise a decision as I once thought it was?
In the end, everything turned out well. I met a man and woman from Idaho. An education on potatoes ensued (among other things though, this guy was quite intellectual).
Also, the two people who pulled in right next to me were there just to tailgate. I liked this. I've employed similar tactics to Milwaukee Brewers games. Anyway, we chatted, and we ended up going to a bar until it closed. No doubt, this was ridiculous, but I figured, why not. Packers won. I'm in Phoenix. I only had a drink or two, and I drove myself out of the city to the first rest-stop I found and called her a night.
Oh yeah, there was a football game as well. It was alright. I was actually more engaged by the pair of elderly couples I had on either side of me. On the one side was an older lady from Manitoba who likes to go to Brewer's games. On the other side was an old man who couldn't get enough of that crazy video camera on a cable following the players around. His wife was from............you guessed it, Wisconsin! Best State Ever! Best football fans too. I really think that there were more Packer fans there than Cardinals.
New Year's Eve in the Superstitions
I had a few days to burn so I decided to go hunting Dutchmen again. My first day, I didn't even go into the mountains. I camped at the Lost Dutchmen, then I spent the following day at the Apache Junction Multi-Generational Facility. It had been a long time since I shot a basketball, and I was curious what my shot looks like with four working fingers. Not good is the correct answer. Lucky for me, the only other occupants of the gym was a group of kids and adults with cognitive disabilities. They thought I was pretty good. I actually spent more time talking with these yahoos then I did playing basketball. One guy was wearing a Bucks shirt, all of them loved sports, and I played catch with a football with Kenny.
Enough fooling around I thought, time to get back in the mountains. I spent the next four days meandering about the canyon lake area. I ended up not straying too far off of the beaten path because my first night I had a coyote ripping in to some unfortunate critter right at my tent's doorstep. I was just glad the critter wasn't a skunk. Do they make desert skunks? I don't know.
After a few days in the back-country, I came back out knowing that the cooler in my car would need ice. Then I came back in, and just chilled at the Tortilla campground as it was an economical $6/night. Here, I learned a lot about prospecting. The older gentleman who was the ground's host is a prospector and he loves to talk about it. I listened. He wanted me to go, but I said I've got other things to do. Those other things were just one thing, which was reading in my tent.
The short days were officially wearing on me and now I started to figure out where I would go next, the only requirements being that I live in a more civilized fashion (maybe even a room of my own), and there are some sports to be played (it has been so long - not sure if the legs work anymore). After very little internet searching I chose............PORTLAND - actually, I'm here now, it's awesome! (At left is where the Dutchman hides)
Santa Brought Me a Dirty Little Filipino for Christmas
My first day at the extended stay hotel I ran into this little Filipino man, who just happened to be from Wisconsin. He had been living there for three months, and it was very evident that he was lonely. We spoke for a while, and he kept on telling me "we should go to dinner sometime." I agreed, and went my own way.
When Christmas rolled around, I figured it'd be nice to have some company and I figured that my Filipino friend was feeling the same way. I stopped by his room, told him dinner at 6pm and our date was set.
He showed up at my door promptly.......I gave him a tour of my room, which was a mess, bikes in one corner, yak in the other, junk everywhere else. Then he gave me a tour of his room. Remove the junk, and it was exactly the same as mine except for one thing. His computer was on, and he had a website open which was showing some very inappropriate things. The first thing I say is "whatcha got going on over here?" Then I realized that might sound to conversational, and I followed it up with "I find that a little bit disturbing." He bumbled around, having to close several windows, and he said "my frenz, they send me these things." "oh too many, I never know what I cwick on."
This was a nice smooth start to my Christmas plan. I really didn't know what to do.......so I turned to my iPhone hoping that there was an app for this. It turns out, there is, and it's called Yelp. I figured that few places would be open, so I'd just pick a closed one, and say, "oh, I really wanted to go here, but it looks like it isn't open." That's exactly what I did, and I returned to my room. I have been extremely happy with my phone, but never have I seen it as a necessity until now. I have had one disastrous relationship with a Filipino in my past and I'm happy that I could avoid a second.
What's a Homeless Man to do for the Holidays?
Volunteer to help the homeless of course. I really treated myself this Christmas. First I checked in to an extended stay hotel. Amazingly, my room was $14/day, less than most of the campgrounds I have stayed at since I've been bumming. This won't change the way I will operate, but it seems a bit backwards.
Either way, I wanted to volunteer a bit of my time, and I figured it would be a good idea to have easy access to a shower while I was doing this. I ended up helping out at the local St. Vincent de Paul's from Sunday to Sunday.
The first night was working at a dining hall for underprivileged families. I figured I just be doing grunt work, but instead I was apparently in the right place at the right time, as I was led into the kids play area with a family that was volunteering their time as well, and we were in charge of face painting. Once word spread of the high-quality, stick Santa Clauses, stick ginger bread men, stick spidermen, as well as reindeer, bunny rabbits, christmas trees, and stars I was making I had a pretty long line waiting for my services. Time sure flew though. The first time I looked behind me, the meal was finished, nearly everything was clean, and I was set to go home with half of my face blue, and a purple shooting star on the other half. I'm not exactly sure how that happened, but it was a lot of fun.
The rest of the week would place me in downtown Phoenix at SVDP's main dining hall. Here they serve nearly 1,000 plates of food per meal, and they do all this almost entirely by the help of volunteers like you and I. The first day I was on dish washing duties. I couldn't help but be reminded of my HS days working at Ponderosa as a dish washer. One day I was cleaning up Dave "the Beast" van Able's mess the next day I was scalded by burning hot water due to a miscommunication between myself and my Russian helper. No problems arose at SVDP, in fact, I learned that there was opportunity for rapid advancement in the volunteering business as the boss called me out of the cleaning area and into the kitchen to take care of the hot food after one of the regulars left.
From that day on, I became one of the regulars and was assigned to the hot food until the weekend came. For the weekend I got to work out on the floor. This allowed me to chit-chat with some of the "clients." Yes, they call the homeless people clients, I'm not sure why, but I suppose it is appropriate. It was startling how many homeless there were. The boss admitted that many of these individuals were new faces from recent foreclosures and they had no where else to turn. Once again, this experience has shown me how sheltered my life has been. I've always been one to believe that if someone falls down there will always be someone there to catch you. For these people, it is not the case.
In the end, what I did was asking very little of me, and I'd like to think that it meant a lot to these unfortunate people. One man told me that no one had ever asked him what his name was. Another man, was a huge football fan. Almost everyone was polite, appreciative, and high-spirited. Meanwhile, I struggled to even grasp what a day in their life would be like. I couldn't.
For some time now, I've been a big believer in helping individuals abroad rather than people here at home. I've always thought (and perhaps still do) that everyone here in the USA has opportunities to make something of themself. The number of opportunities and whether they're given or earned is different for everyone, but everyone has a chance and that many abroad in 3rd world nations have no choice as to what their life can be like. I'm not so sure anymore. Seeing these people living in such squalor has opened my eyes and it's more rewarding to you and I as individuals to experience these things directly, rather than simply writing a check and hoping it goes to the right place.
Just get out and do something. If you don't have enough free time of your own, organize an outing as a work function. Good PR + Good Deed = Win-Win.
Wintering in the Superstition Mountains
Since Flagstaff was a bust, I began looking into alternative Winter destinations. I had a look at Sedona, Prescott, but I ultimately chose Phoenix due to the Superstition Mountains that line its Eastern border. I suppose the 70 degree highs didn't hurt either. I was somewhat startled that there could be over a foot of snow 2 hours away in Flagstaff while I was working up a sweat hiking through the superstitions, but then I thought back to September when I was dying in the oppressive Phoenix heat I would head two hours North to Flagstaff to cool down. It seems reasonable that the opposite is true later in the year.
Anyway, for my first trip into the Superstitions, I just day-hiked, then squatted at the Lost Dutchman. No dutchmen were found during my day-hikes.
Wintering in Arizona
I have already spent a cnosiderable amount of time with my co-retirees in Arizona, but now Winter was bearing down on me and I was yearning for the warmth and sun of this land of retirees. Perhaps this time, I would settle down, watch the birds, play shuffleboard, and bust out my BINGO ball hopper, but things weren't quite like I was expecting.
I took I-40 into Flagstaff and I was greeted by a humungous traffic jam due to snowy/icy conditions. Hunters were trapped in the desert, cars were stuck in the snowbanks, all of Flagstaff was a mess. The first thing I did while in the city was push a helpless girl out of a snowbank. She told me "welcome to Flagstaff" and I told her "I'll see you later, I bet it's nicer in Phoenix." However, a trip to Flagstaff is not complete without sleeping at my favorite Walmart, store number 1175. (pictured is not the actual scene of the incident - had it been, you would have seen me running around with a tiny ice pick, a car trying to make it up a snowy hill, and then me running into traffic to stop two lanes. Another passerby came to help, and we successfully pushed her back into traffic because there was no way she was making it up that hill.
Back to Hollywood for a little Conan O'Brien
I was already out in Joshua Tree National Park wandering about when a friend of mine scored tickets to see Conan O'Brien. It was a no-brainer, I dropped everything (what little there is for me to drop), and turned my jalopy back around towards LA.
Narine and I attended the taping on a rainy LA day, and it was a laugh-filled 40-or-so minutes of fun and frivolity. That OCD guy from Deal or No Deal was the guest, and although I don't like him much his stories created an awareness in me about Jock Itch.......which had recently been a topic of discussion between my friends and I. Some Indian Doctor was the other guest, but the highlights were Conan's bits......they decorated a Christmas tree using a jet engine, and Conan made a pitch for a movie called Trolls or maybe it was the sequel, Trolls II, I don't remember anymore. Either way, it was awesome, and I can't thank Narine enough for having the hook-up for Tonight Show tickets.
myPinkyUp.com's Suggested Stocking Stuffer
If you know me well, you'll know that I don't do Christmas or birthdays anymore. I give experiences, and have started MCPP (Mike's Cumulative Present Program) in which everyone close to me gets one big gift and then I'm done. So far, I've built a horse stable, and taken my parents on a trip. On deck are my eldest nephews and niece. I also don't want to receive anything. After graduating from college I told my parents one pair of moccasins per year would do me just fine.
BUT, just because the only thing I'm giving, is giving up on giving presents, it doesn't mean that I don't want to help you figure out what to give others. Here's my first gift suggestion for the holidays. Let me know what you think. I'm pretty sure I'm on to something with this one.
The Price is Right: my Pinky Up, "Come on Down"
Attending the Price is Right has been a dream of mine for quite some time now. When I learned of Bob Barker's impending retirement Josh, the Duke, and I flew into LA hoping to join Bob for one of his million dollar spectaculars. There was one little problem, we didn't have tickets. I had written them for tickets, but I didn't receive confirmation until after we had returned from our trip.
I knew that we were missing a rather crucial ingredient to attend the taping, so I decided that I would try to compensate for what we lacked by having insanely sweet Price is Right t-shirts. I stayed up all night cutting out felt letters, gluing on pictures of Bob Barker's mug, and making insanely awesome t-shirts, but it didn't work, after waiting in line for hours, we were turned away.....and then the t-shirts back-fired on us as everyone in Hollywood asked us "how's the show? Did you win anything?"
This go around things were much simpler. Tickets are printed directly from the internet, but they aren't guaranteed so you still get the fun of camping out on the CBS sidewalk. Beth and I camped out for 5+ hours, lightly toasting marshmallows for s'mores over a BBQ lighter. We were first in line, which pretty much guaranteed a significant amount of TV time for the two of us. I was working a lady who was sure she would come on down to "hug 002 then Drew" as my priority pass was number 002. Who cares about hugging though, what everyone really wants to know is if either of us got to hug, sidle about 4 steps while unloading a flurry of high-fives on his or her way to contestants row from our seats......